The ‘straight’ form of you

  • convinced that all straight girls feel at the least some attraction to females
  • convinced that your curiosity about seeing appealing women/scantily clad women/boobs is definitely a synthetic effect triggered by the objectification of females in media
  • Thinking you’re simply a super intense feminist for genuinely reasoning women can be amazing and achieving an overwhelming preference with their business
  • Being actually into exactly how ladies look “aesthetically”/“just as creative interest”/“fashion goals”
  • Thinking it is objective and uncontested that virtually all ladies are much more appealing than many guys
  • Being an extremely intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but presuming you’re simply an extremely Good Ally and v empathetic
  • Having like half your buddy team from college grow to be LGBT+
  • Getting psychological or having a very good effect you don’t realize to f/f love tales etc.
  • Having had individuals think you had been gay once you had no suspicion you had been homosexual

Checking out attraction to females

  • Experiencing in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position
  • Really focusing on the women in het porn
  • Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman ‘to turn guys on’
  • Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that
  • Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman
  • Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman
  • Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know
  • Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself

Gender emotions

  • Having plenty of conflicting sex emotions which are just feasible to solve once you know you are/can be described as a lesbian
  • convinced that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean as a woman, but being totally comfortable with the idea of other women seeing you as one of them
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
  • Knowing you’re gay, but feeling like you’re struggling against comp het stuff – discomfort, obligation, fear, disinterest, self-objectification, etc. – when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man
  • Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right – many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
  • Knowing you’re attracted young small tits to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian
  • Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you
  • Wishing straight people and/or men didn’t parse you

Considering lesbianism

  • attempting to be considered a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t know already you will be one you can’t be
  • Feeling alienated from all of the male-gazey impractical depictions of lesbians as just being young slim rich white cis abled conventionally appealing sex conforming right actresses in tv/movies/porn and convinced that alienation means you can’t be homosexual
  • Discovering that the kind is gnc ladies or ladies who share your underrepresented demographic and that is why you’re not really drawn to a-listers
  • maybe not experiencing interested in right females but unexpectedly having plenty of crushes whenever you understand without a doubt certain women can be bi/gay
  • experiencing responsible about attempting to be considered a lesbian, experiencing like you’re simply attention-seeking or wanting to be stylish
  • curbing your lesbian ambitions as you think exploring that desire will mean you’re a bad/homophobic person making use of lesbianness selfishly
  • Wishing you’re a lesbian to flee the vexation of dating guys
  • Fantasizing about how precisely much enjoyable it might be to be always a lesbian and merely be with women/a particular girl, but convinced that can’t be for you
  • Worrying that a number of your previous attraction to males was actually genuine which means you can’t be considered a lesbian
  • Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% certain you’re perhaps not drawn to males and can’t be 100% certain you won’t replace your brain, you can’t be considered a lesbian
  • Worrying which you just wish to be a lesbian due to upheaval and that means your lesbianness could be Fake
  • Worrying that trauma-induced problems in the way you experience intercourse (age.g., a practice of self-harming via sex w men or even a fear of/lack of great interest in every intercourse at all) suggest you’re maybe not a proper Lesbian

Every item on this list is frequent among genuine Lesbians. It is all Lesbian that is normal Stuff. That you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that if you’re worried. You will be permitted to be a lesbian.

And when you’re perhaps not certain yet – if you took the full time to learn this whole thing because you’re interested in learning your identity, in the event that you identified with a lot of products with this list – you might or might not be a lesbian, but buddy, you probably aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d want to hear other activities lesbians want you’d understood had been something whenever you had been first checking out your identification! )

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